It's hard every time you know your mother looks at you, she's thinking of some judgement.
Gram's did the same things.
I was too skinny, then I was too fat. Then my hair was too long, or my hair was too short.

When Gram's transititoned the other night, I watched my Mother's reaction. We were all there. Me, Mom, 2 sisters, 2 Aunts a cousin and a few more. As Grams was moving on to the next phase of her life, I could feel mom's anger toward her. I can feel that she felt the minister was saying the wrong prayer and reading the wrong scriptures. I can feel her anger toward her Mother who is taking her last breath.

They set the date for the Memorial Service. Tuesday at 11am. What? I asked Mom, why on a Tuesday? Jimmy, my son wont be able to make it. She said because her sister was going to Ohio. I'm like WTF! Base the date around the sister's visit to Ohio? So I call Mom later to tell her that I'm upset. Why is your sister going to Ohio? Why can't we all get together on Sunday? My Mom lives in California, I live in Chicago,  and I have no idea when I'll be able to see her again. My son hasn't seen her in like 3 years.
She said I misunderstood. Okay, so I misunderstood. Easy to see why I took that the wrong way. So I tried to suggest another day for at least Jimmy to see her. She kept inturrupting me. Several times she inturrupted me. I asked, can I finish what I wanted to say? She hangs up on me.

This action of haninging up on me brings back a boat load of memories. Triggered deep rooted emotions. When I was 15 years old. Yes that's right 15. My mother kicked me out of the house. I had no where to go. It was 2 in the morning and this guy was trying to pick me up. I called home and asked if I could come home, and my Mother hung up on me. This guy talked me into going with him, remember I'm 15 years old, so I did. Where else was I going to go? We got high on something and next thing I know I'm in a different state! It's a miricle that I made it home alive. My Mother hung up on me.

That action of hanging up on me brought back some very deep seated memories. I'm 43 and those memories were all but forgotten. Until tonight.

This is what greif does to you. There are some deep rooted cords of attachment. Her Mother dies and she greives with anger. I'm an Impath that picks up on all this emotional energy. Then this gets triggered. All because I wanted to see about getting together at a time when Jimmy, my son, her first grandchild, can see her.

I think it is best not to see her during this trip.

Bye Grams.

You cannot seperate the ray of the sun from the Sun.

Just as we are not seperate from our Source.

We are the rays from Source. The tree blooming and flowers expressing is the physical manifestation of the Sun.

We ARE the physical manifestation of Source.

That IS the BEST! Can't get any better than that!

You say, "I feel sad whenever I see the sun setting." You feel silent. You will have to learn a new language.
Spirituality is a new language. You will have to change the meanings of words, the nuances of words. Give them new flavors and new fragrance, because they have been used in the marketplace. They are perfectly good in the marketplace but when you are entering into the beauty of existence, you cannot carry the same language.
Next time it happens, Ravindra, just see the sunset and feel what you have been calling sadness more deeply -- and there is going to be a transformation. The same sadness will become your silence.
If a man cannot be silent facing beauty, he is not aware of the beauty. At least you are halfway: a little aware of the beauty, but not aware of the impact of the beauty that is created in your heart.
And, silence and sadness have something similar but they are not the same thing. Sadness is something dead and stale. Silence is something alive, a song without words, a music without instruments. And what has been understood by you as sadness will become a great spiritual ecstasy for you. ... Words are delicate people, and as you become deeper, you start giving new meanings to words.

Om mani padme hum, ch.26, question 1

The word 'beauty' is really a judgement. What one consideres beauty, another considers ugly or repulsive. I've come across so many that think snakes or bats are ugly.
I think they are just beautiful creatures. Source sees all things in such a way. Each has its own beauty. A snake with its smooth on the bottom and course on the top skin. They way the muscles in the body contract and coil are pure amazement for me. But I would ask someone else about it and they shutter at just the thought of it.

I've always been afraid, okay, repulsed by spiders. But I've grown to appreciate them. Especially their webs. The intriicate and strong yet flexable webs just blow me away. After a while I start to see the beauty in them and start to appreciate spiders. Now I wont be handling any spiders like I would a snake, but I'll appreciate their beauty from a distance.
When I get past my fear, which puts up a judgement of ugly, I start to see the beauty in everything.

I see the beauty in every person I meet. As a bodyworker, I'm amazed at all the different body types there are. Yet Hollywood would have us believe there is only beauty as to how they define it. But the deaf girl signing to her beautiful friend or the woman in a wheel chair, or the blind boy with scars on his face are more beautiful to me than the most 'Beautiful people' in Hollywood would ever come close to being. Actually I see those people and see their energy, and it's not so pretty. Not even close.

I would probably want to live on the planet eye-th instead of the planet ear-th.

If I was deaf, I think I would be fine. But I have a foot in the deaf world and a foot in the hearing world.

I'm a licensed sign language interpreter. I'm the medium between the deaf world and the hearing world. I see the hearing look at the deaf and see someone with a loss. I see the deaf look at the hearing and feel that feeling of loss. There's a barrier between the two worlds.

If you want to talk to someone about an idea, go to a deaf person. They see things we don't.

My deaf friend and his wife just had a beautifu baby. They expected to have a hearing child because deafness doesn't run in their families. Imagine their joy when the doctors told them in a sad voice that they had a deaf child. The doctors were so worried about them being upset by this 'loss'. They were thrilled! This baby could not have picked better parents!

The Tibetan Monks are touring the USA bringing awareness to what is going on in Tibet and raising money to help those escaping for their lives. I had an opportunity to received a very special blessing today from the Geshe and felt it to be such an honor. I learned about Buddha prayers and purchased my very first prayer beads that one of the monks picked out for me. What a blessing!

I am thankful that they decided to stop by my area and I'm honored that they will be coming to my office building to educate us about their culture. They will be doing a Cultural Presentation on July 17th. I'm so thankful to be a part of this very special event!

Blessing in return to the Monks touring here and to bring home blessings to those in Tibet.

Well you wouldn't know it when you read the article in the Elburn Herald, but if you've been following the story, you'll know who the so called Elder from the Seventh-Day Adventist Church is talking about. Me! And anyone else that attended the Psychic Fair.

At least the Elburn Herald printed about how well the event went. This reporter Martha was very helpful for me. I believe she couldn't believe what was going on in her town.

I was talking to a friend about why all the 'contrast' is happening. It did occur to me that because I've been in the closet as an intuitive (I really don't care for the word psychic) and only recently 'come out'. But before that I had an ingrained fear. Ever since I could remember, as early at 4 years old, I had dreams of being burned alive. I learned through biofeedback that 14 generations ago on my mothers side, I was accused of being a witch and burned.

Interesting update......I just got a call from my office neighbor saying that UPS delivered 4 boxes to me. He said he signed for them and will hold them until I get there later this morning. I didn't order anything! If I do place an order, I have it shipped to my house address, not my office. Too many kids coming in and out of the building.
I guess there maybe more to the story. We'll see.

I've been very busy getting everything together and ready for my very first Ask Your Angels Day Psychic Fair. Well yesterday started the bad dream. I have the day off and looked forward to getting some much needed rest. But for some reason my phone keeps ringing. No longer able to ignore it, I get up to find out that reporters are wanting to get my side of some controversy. What? What controversy? I haven't heard about anything.

I call the reporter and she starts asking me questions about my event on Saturday and if I've heard about the protesters. I was totally caught off guard. I told the reporter that I'm really caught off guard and that I have to think about what century we currently are in. She laughed, and basically told me that this publicity will be good for my event.

I arrive at the office and the secretary and president of the board of the community center, where I lease my office space and where I'll be holding my psychic fair, are waiting for me to arrive. I had a meeting with a woman named Jo that said that she had some very important information that I need to know before my psychic fair. The minister came into my office while I was with a client and left a note asking for a booth at my psychic fair. What? I started feeling nauseous and feeling overwhelmed.
I had meetings, phone calls, said some prayers and after all that happened yesterday, I just left it to the Universe to take care of.

Today I get the paper and there are 2 articles. One from the minister opposing my event and the other with the reporter with her words.

I am all for religious freedom. But this is a man that is instilling fear and almost to the point of a witch hunt. This feels so familiar to me. I KNOW I've been through this before. But this time I will come through stronger.

Please send healing energy, prayers and blessings my way during this event. I just find this so surreal. This is the 21st century??

I've met many people and I love to listen to their stories. I've come across those that say they listen, but do a LOT more talking than listening. Maybe even asking me a question to engage me in the conversation, but only after I say a few words, they jump in and start talking again. It becomes very clear to me that they are not interested in anything I have to say. Which is just fine, but makes me wonder if people really understand what it means to listen?

Below is some common sense tips on listening skills. But beyond that is to listen with more than what the person is saying out of the mouth. 'Listen' to the body movement. Listen and really pay attention to facial expressions and vocal tones. Where is the person speaking from? Those that speak from the heart or throat chakra tend to really draw me in. More than 70% of communication happens non verbally. So that means even though we may hear words coming from the speaker, what else do you pick up? This is where our intuition comes in. Listen to that.

Read between the words. Or should I say, FEEL between the words. You'll be amazed at what you pick up.

I've been a Certified licensed Sign Language Interpreter for 13 years and have come to consider myself a pro at body and non verbal language. Even though those that can hear and express themselves verbally, there is a LOT more communication happening non verbally. Try it.Just listen. You'll learn a heck of a lot more then if you're doing most of the talking.

Tips for being a good listener

 

1. Give your full attention on the person who is speaking. Don't look out the window or at what else is going on in the room.
2. Make sure your mind is focused, too. It can be easy to let your mind wander if you think you know what the person is going to say next, but you might be wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker's words.
3. Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk. Speakers appreciate having the chance to say everything they would like to say without being interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like you aren't listening, even if you really are.
4. Let yourself finish listening before you begin to speak! You can't really listen if you are busy thinking about what you want say next.
5. Listen for main ideas. The main ideas are the most important points the speaker wants to get across. They may be mentioned at the start or end of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay special attention to statements that begin with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The thing to remember is..."
6. Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker said so that you can be sure your understanding is correct. For example, you might say, "When you said that no two zebras are alike, did you mean that the stripes are different on each one?"
7. Give feedback. Sit up straight and look directly at the speaker. Now and then, nod to show that you understand. At appropriate points you may also smile, frown, laugh, or be silent. These are all ways to let the speaker know that you are really listening. Remember, you listen with your face as well as your ears!

Thinking fast

Remember: time is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.